Love Language...

I thought the following article was interesting to read and to try to see which of the five communication styles each of the three kids utilises to express and receive love.....

Elena was easy....GIFTS ..Not in that she looks for gifts...mind you she never refuses them!! but... Elena LOVES ceremony and birthdays and occasions of any nature...she loves the anticipation of making and giving presents, making cards etc.. For example at Darrelle's birthday on Saturday she came home to homemade banners greeting her as she came in the door.. Darrelle is still finding birthday cards with real sweet declarations of love.... she made at least 3... and will wrap up anything that will pass as a present.....!!!  This evening she was 'master of ceremonies' as she presented me with a bouquet of tulips for Valentine's Day and exclaimed over which were from Alex, which were from Dad, which were from Darrelle to which Alex piped up 'Darrelle was not there'  Sssh!!  So no doubt about it that is her 'Love Language'....

Darrelle.. not as easy to figure out but would think that while her language of love has changed over the years the one that predominates at present is QUALITY TIME ..I admit sometimes I fall prey to teenage moods and hormones in our house and have not quite learned how to 'button my lip' and 'least said..soonest mended' and all that... Yes. sometimes I find it hard not to retaliate to my now 15 year old and 2 days! when she pushes my buttons but.... all I have to do is spend time with her, bring her somewhere, go for a chat and her sweet self emerges again.... Last Saturday I brought herself and two friends to Galway for her birthday..they shopped, saw a movie, dined out and I chauffeured them from place to place and then bowed out.... (thanks to my very dear friend Theresa! agreeing to meet with me and keep me company for the duration I had a great time!!! Thanks Ciarán and sorry for ruining your Saturday night plans with your Valentine!!)....So most of the time I speak my teenager's love language!!

And of course little Alex has yet a different language.... I would say it is a combination of two... WORDS OF AFFIRMATION & PHYSICAL TOUCH.. he lights up at any terms of endearment and went through a phase of saying 'Thanks' which always made his sisters laugh and then made him self-conscious so he stopped 'thanking' us for our love!! ..but he still loves it... and loves to tell us he loves us.... but woe betide if we step on his toes (figuratively-speaking off course!) or ask him to do something against his wishes then we get the flip side of the love emotion as in 'I hate you...and Dad/Mom is my favourite depending on who is not 'flavour of the moment!!  Of course like all little 5 year olds he looooves hugs and kisses and cuddles and gives and receives freely.... I treasure this because I know it won't be long before displays of affection will be curtailed ... well at least in public..... well one has an image to uphold...  Thankfully Elena has not reached that stage yet...:).but it goes without saying that Darrelle has:(

DO YOU SPEAK YOUR CHILD’S LOVE

LANGUAGE?


All children have the need to be unconditionally loved and accepted,
especially by their parents. The experience of receiving love, respect
and acceptance is tied to a child’s sense of self worth which many
experts believe is the foundation for several important childhood outcomes such as academic success,decision making, problem solving, healthy relationships and more.


Does your child know that you love him? Did you know that every child (like every adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five communication styles called their “love language”? Psychologist,Gary Chapman, Ph.D. and Dr. Ross Campbell, M.D., in their book The Five Love Languages of Children have identified these five styles. They assert that when you identify and communicate with your child in their primary love language that you meet their deepest emotional needs thereby providing them with the best preparation possible for a healthy and satisfying future.


What is your child’s primary love language?


QUALITY TIME: Spending time with this child is the best way to say “I love you” and “you are important to me”. The time spent is of critical importance, not what you do. Whether it’s watching TV, throwing a ball, making dinner, reading a book or walking the dog as long as you are doing it together you are speaking to this child’s heart.
Love Language Hint…. This may be your child’s primary love language if he/she often asks you to do something with him/her.


WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: Words of love are powerful and especially so for this child. Children whose primary love language is words of affirmation need to hear, “I love you:” you are a caring friend”, “I am proud of you”, “you are a hard worker”, “you are very special” and more. These words convey, love, caring, understanding and value.
Love Language Hint… If your child uses words to tell you how much she loves you this may be her love language.


GIFTS: All children enjoy presents but the child whose love language is gifts receives them as a true expression and extension of your love. Upon receiving your gift he will want you there as it is opened and express tremendous gratitude and love.
Love Language Hint…if your child makes you presents or draws pictures or cards, this may be his love language.


ACTS OF SERVICE: Parenting is a true act of service, yet for this child everything you do on his behalf whether it is a meal or a ride says, “You mean the world to me” and, “there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you”.
Love Language Hint…if when you are tired your child asks how he can help you to make you feel better, this may be your love child’s primary love language.


PHYSICAL TOUCH: Hugs, kisses, back rubs, tickles, snuggles or strokes of the head shout, “I love you” to this child. Touch equals love and affection for this child so it is very important that touch is never used to hurt or harm.
Love Language Hint…if even your older child wants to sit in your lap or snuggle on the couch with you, this may be her love language.

Speaking your child’s love language will fill her emotional tank and provide the security of your unconditional love for a lifetime.

So that's my bit for Valentine's Day.....!!!!1



What is your Child's Love Language???